Starting something new can be exhilarating for some, but for others, the mere thought of stepping into unknown territory brings intense anxiety. This anxiety around new beginnings—sometimes called “newness anxiety”—often surfaces before major life changes like starting a new job, moving to a new place, or beginning a new relationship. But why does something that promises growth and adventure often make us feel on edge? The answer lies in our natural desire for a balance between stability and change.
Why Do We Crave Both Stability and Newness?
Humans have a unique relationship with change. We’re hardwired to seek out patterns and routines for a sense of security—they help us feel in control, grounded, and safe. At the same time, though, we’re also drawn to change and novelty because these experiences offer growth, challenge, and, ultimately, the excitement of discovery. This dual nature means that while we seek stability to feel rooted, we also crave newness to feel alive and engaged with the world.
Yet, this balance is delicate. Major changes like moving to a new city, starting a new job, or diving into a new relationship disrupt our routines and tip the scale from familiarity to uncertainty, which can easily lead to anxiety. For example, consider Alex, who’s just accepted his dream job in a new city. Though thrilled, he starts feeling apprehensive as the start date nears. He worries about navigating a new workplace culture, adjusting to a different city, and leaving his support network behind. Even though he knows the move is positive, the loss of stability makes him doubt if he’s ready for it.
How Newness Anxiety Manifests
Newness anxiety can present itself in several ways:
Self-doubt: Feeling unprepared or fearing you won’t measure up in the new situation.
Physical Symptoms: Tension, racing heart, and nausea are common physiological responses to newness anxiety.
Overthinking: Dwelling on worst-case scenarios and imagining potential missteps.
Avoidance: Deciding to stay in a familiar situation rather than embracing the change.
These feelings are normal, but when left unchecked, they can keep you from embracing new experiences and growing through them.
Can Exposure Therapy Help with Newness Anxiety?
Exposure therapy is a powerful method for tackling newness anxiety. Originally designed for phobias and anxiety disorders, exposure therapy introduces individuals to their fears in a controlled, supportive way, gradually decreasing their sensitivity to anxiety triggers and reinforcing positive experiences.
Here’s how exposure therapy can help:
Breaking Down Fears into Small Steps: Exposure therapy typically involves breaking down the larger fear into smaller, manageable steps. If Alex is anxious about his move, he might start with something as simple as driving through his new neighborhood or visualizing his first day at work. These smaller actions help build confidence over time, allowing him to approach the bigger change more calmly.
Building Resilience to Uncertainty: Newness anxiety is largely about facing the unknown. Exposure therapy allows people to become more comfortable with uncertainty, helping them realize that they can cope, even if things don’t go as planned.
Developing a Sense of Control: Major changes can feel out of our control, which is a primary trigger for anxiety. Exposure therapy lets people approach new situations intentionally, one step at a time. Alex might visit his new workplace before he starts or try to replicate parts of his future routine at home, creating a sense of control over the process.
Increasing Confidence through Gradual Success: With each successful step, anxiety lessens, and confidence grows. Alex, who initially feared the move, starts to see himself as someone who can handle new challenges and find his place in unfamiliar situations.
Practical Tips for Managing Newness Anxiety
While exposure therapy is an effective approach, there are other strategies that can help with newness anxiety:
Set Small, Achievable Goals: Rather than diving headfirst into the new experience, break it down. If you’re starting a new job, focus on learning your commute first, then on meeting one new coworker each day. Smaller goals feel manageable and create small successes that build momentum.
Embrace Mindfulness Techniques: Mindfulness can help anchor you in the present rather than letting worries about the future take over. Techniques like deep breathing and grounding exercises keep you centered, making it easier to manage stressful moments as they arise.
Visualize Success: Imagine yourself successfully navigating the change—whether that’s smoothly completing your first day at work or settling into a new apartment. Visualization can reduce fears and build confidence, helping your brain rehearse for success.
Find Support: Sharing your concerns with someone you trust can make them seem less daunting. Friends and family can offer reassurance and advice, which can be incredibly grounding.
Practice Flexibility: Life rarely unfolds exactly as planned. By accepting that things may not go perfectly—and being okay with that—you can reduce the pressure on yourself to control everything. Flexibility enables you to approach newness with curiosity instead of fear.
Moving Forward with a Balanced Approach
Our desire for both stability and change is part of what makes life rich and fulfilling. While newness can be intimidating, it’s also a path to growth. By breaking down fears, practicing resilience, and using strategies like exposure therapy, you can approach new beginnings with confidence. Instead of eliminating fear, you’re learning to carry it in a way that allows you to move forward without being held back.
So, the next time you find yourself on the edge of a new chapter, remember that the balance you crave is within reach. With each small step, you’re opening the door to new possibilities, enriching your life with the experience of growth just beyond the borders of your comfort zone. Here at oVRcome, we offer exposure therapy so that you can build confidence gradually, and feel ready to take on the challenges that new experiences bring.
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